[oucorry]

With the IRS and taxes just around the corner, it was time to run some numbers on last year's tour season. (Holy crap, I'm gonna need another pencil.)

For all those who wanna-be, think they're gonna-be, or dream-to-be, here's the lowdown on what you're eyeballing before you hock the wife's wedding band, load up the pickup, and hit "The Trail" to chase big green fatties.

This is the lowdown not from someone who's never fished a derby more than 350 clicks from their front door, but rather from someone who's actually been there.

Drove that. Caught those. (And autographed the T-shirt.)

I know of what I type — and I'm not typing to fill this space. Just trying to fill a few minutes of your day.

Windshield time. Try 34,000 miles on for size.

At an average speed of 65 mph, that's 523 hours — or 42 12-hour days.

On the road. In the seat. Behind the wheel.

I'm probably a middle-of-the-road Elite angler when it comes to travel time, distance, and expense, because of my proximity to the central part of the U.S. (The Left Coast guys will spend much more on travel while the guys who live in eastern Alabama may spend a little less, due to the fact that they're usually closer to the majority of the derbies.)

I roll in a Ray Chevrolet 3500 Dually, Duramax equipped, toting a Lance 1181 truck camper which weighs in at close to 2 tons, while pulling a BassCat Cougar. Total package weight? No clue, but if you see me coming, stay the hell out of the way.

Fuel mileage runs around 10 miles per. Unless we get a tailwind, which rarely happens, and then it's about 12. Maybe.

I have no idea how, but we always have a headwind or crosswind when we roll. I think we could drive in a circle and have a head wind the whole way. Just don't get it.

At 10 mpg and 34,000 miles, we've sucked about 3,400 gallons of #2 diesel through the Duramax in 2007. With 3,400 times an average price of $3.20 per, that looks like 10,880 skins on my calculator.

Wow, that's a pile of Benjamins.

Our running total:
Entry fees $55,000.00
Vehicle fuel $10,880.00


Our next item would be a place to park for the night.

Fortunately, we roll with our house, so we can drop wherever and whenever we want. Last year we spent 148 nights on the road. Paid out $2,400 for campsite fees, which is cheap, cheap, cheap.

Try spending 148 nights in the Roach De Luxe at $70 per — that'd be about $10 Grand. I love my Lance.

Boat gas — none of the engineers at Merc have figured out how to get one of these Pro XS rigs to run on H2O yet, so we're stuck at the gas pump.

Clicked off approximately 150 hours from March 1 to November 1 in the '07 Puma while pumping $4,800 in 87 octane through the Opti veins.

Ouch.

Our running total:
Entry fees $55,000.00
Vehicle fuel $10,880.00
Lodging $2,400.00
Boat gas $4,800.00


Have you subtotaled it yet? No cheating, now. Wait for it ...

What's left?

Oh, I don't know, maybe fishing licenses, some tackle, launch fees, a few oil changes for the Duramax, just all those miscellaneous things. Those little items total up to around 8,000 clams.

(Of that, $670.13 was for fishing licenses in nine states)

How 'bout some grub?

Don't have a total on this, as we usually take the IRS per diem allowance. You gotta eat, though. $10 per day (I don't know anyone who could eat even remotely healthy for that, but it's a nice round number) times 148 days slaps us with another $1,480.

So where are we now?

Entry fees $55,000.00
Vehicle fuel $10,880.00
Lodging $2,400.00
Boat gas $4,800.00
Misc. $8,000.00
Food $1,480.00


Congratulations! You've just dropped $82,480.00 and 21 weeks of your life to "chase your dream."

By the way, that 82 large doesn't include a truck or a boat or the majority of your tools of the trade.

Regardless of what you might hear, read, or dream, the majority of us don't have a free ride for all the above. Chances are very good if you're just starting out, you won't be among the minority getting free trucks.

Not even close.

Oh, I can do it cheaper, you scoff. Sure you can.

Sleep in your truck? You will.

Eat tuna from a can? You will.

Glue your Zoom lizards back together with a cigarette lighter? You will.

Do all your practice fishing within sight of the launch ramp because you can't fill up the tanks in your boat? You will.

Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Sounds like the life of luxury.

Just like you see on ESPN2 every Saturday morning. Just like the photos in Bassmaster every month.

Just like you see in your dream.

For more info on Kevin Short or to contact Kevin, check out his Web site at Kevin Short - Bassmaster Elite Series Angler.



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Got an opinion? Click ESPN conversation below to post your comment about this story.

[DrakeHunter]

How can I get you to sign my t-shirt, That is a lot of money!!!! What does it pay to place or winn a tourney?

[oucorry]

I think most of those Bass tourneys pay 100,000 for first and if you make the top 50 you get 10 g's

[DrakeHunter]

10 g's I think I could live like that, fishing is easy. lol

[oucorry]

it should be easy for ya. I taught you and aaron everything you know.

[Darkman]

Reminds me of a funny saying in Poker

Its a hard way to make easy money

thanks for the post

[shortbus]

Originally Posted by oucorry

it should be easy for ya. I taught you and aaron everything you know.

Funny how I have a different recollection. I recall schooling you on the fine arts of fishing on nearly a daily basis.

I'm sure things have changed now. You do a lot more bass fishing than I do. you own a bass boat. You fish bass tournaments. You get a little more practice than I do. I'm pretty sure you put me in the boat and I'll still hold my own. As a matter of fact, I think I out caught you in that Sardis tournament, didn't I?

[DrakeHunter]

You guys just call me and I'll take you to where the big boys live, and we will settle this once and for all. We will see who can pull out the biggest and have the heaviest stringer. You two would have no chance

[oucorry]

Ryan, Aaron and I always knew you were not the brightest of the bunch.

[DrakeHunter]

I was talking about the hands on approach!!!!